Vivian

"There are always new, grander challenges to confront, and a true winner will embrace each one" ~ Mia Hamm

I picked that quote for Vivian who is one of my dearest friends. Not only is she a loving mother, wonderful wifey, and best friend - she is a fighter and a true winner. Viv has been diagnosed with breast cancer... and I know she will push through this "grand challenge" and be even stronger. The doctors are feeling optimistic about her prognosis since the cancer was found early... however, she is facing surgery and chemo.

Please send positive thoughts and pray for Vivian and her family.

Her thoughtfulness of others never ceases to amaze me. She has been a constant source of strength to me through one of the hardest times in my life... she is always an example of selflessness... I can't keep track of all the times she has altered her schedule for me, dropped what she was doing to have lunch with me because I needed to talk... Invited me into her home to spend time with them (Peter, Vivian & my surrogate niece Nadia). I love this woman and hope I can be there for her the way she has been there for me.

Done Deal...

"I'm really demanding. No girl really wants just a guy. You want a prince. You want Jesus. So when he comes around and his name is like, Steve, what are you supposed to do?" ~ Macy Gray



That cracked me up! ESPECIALLY because she picked the name Steve. Yesterday was the big day... I am officially a divorcee. I don't think I like that term so much... I'm going to boycott it.

We had a such a good morning. We went to breakfast where we talked and laughed the whole time, went to court and then he changed the headlight in my car :) Such a good Wasband. When we got in the courtroom there was a couple already seated at the tables in front of the judge and although they were sitting at 2 separate tables they had their backs turned to each other. Steve and I sat down on the bench and he put his arm around me and started laughing and I said "if we don't stop getting along so well, the judge isn't going to grant us a divorce!" I am so happy with how things are with us and how amicable we are. He is my friend again and I hope it always stays that way.

When I was in therapy earlier this week Rick asked if I had any regrets and I was able to honestly say no. I wouldn't change the experiences I had because it has made me who I am. I needed to go through that... as painful as it was at times it was also really good at times. I know we have done the right thing and I have never had second thoughts. I also know that I will always love him, as a friend and as my first (and only) Wasband.

Nettie

My girlfriend Johnette (I call her Nettie - she calls me Adrie) and I have known each other since we were 11... there have been times where we didn't talk for years and yet when we were together it was like no time had passed at all... the sign of a true friendship. She lives in San Jose with Chad - another person I have known since I lived in California... there was a group of us with quite a history together, that ended fairly traumatically. Johnette and I were talking about the morning I was moved to Utah to live with my dad, step-mom and siblings... it never fails whenever we talk about it we cry... and of course it comes up often I won't get into it now, because I will cry - again. It's funny (kinda?) when I was in California I talked to my dad on the phone and I was telling him how beautiful it was there and he commented on the weather, the sun, the whole atmosphere of California and he said "it makes you wonder why you ever left" and I responded with, "um, we both know why I left... I think we remember pretty clearly why I left" I said it laughing and it still cracks me up... I think he was speaking in generic terms, like why would one leave California - not me specifically. I digress.

Johnette and Chad showed me some finer points of San Jose - we had so much fun. It has changed so much since I lived there... I remember the area they lived in being a little scary back then now it's all cleaned up and full of "luxury apartments/condos". I was able to meet some of their friends, Danny (Chad's boyfriend), Donyele and Katie (Johnette's friends) and they were all so sweet. Here are some photo highlights:



My first night we went to Goosetown to listen/watch kareokee it was a riot! I don't sing (for which everyone is thankful) but I love it when other people do! Pictured below are Johnette & I, Donyele & Mike, Katie & Donyele




On Saturday night we went to Hunters which was pretty crazy! Quite the hot spot :)

Johnette & I at Hunters

Chad & Danny at Hunters

While we were at Hunters we got to meet Hal Sparks from Talk Soup/Queer as Folk he was in town speaking at a fund raiser. He was so nice! I loved him on Talk Soup - haven't seen Queer as Folk yet. Not a big fan of the hair though - it looks much better short... not that he asked me... I wish he would... hahaha



In this picture I had just taken another one of him and he turned to Johnette to introduce himself and he said "hello, blue dot, I'm Hal Sparks" It was pretty funny

Johnette, her friend Donyele and I still at Hunters

Humboldt County

My next place to visit was Blocksburg in Humboldt County which was about 5 hours north of San Francisco. I had never been up there and it was amazing. Humboldt is known for a number of things, including the giant redwood trees, they were very impressive.

The drive to Blocksburg once I left Highway 101 was crazy! It was all hairpin turns, sharp curves, rough road and random cows! But look at that view!

While in Blocksburg I stayed with my friend Jim (aka Jimmy Bandito) who I hadn't seen in since last summer. I know Jimmy from Maine and now he lives in California with some friends - Josh, Nicole, Josh's Dad Barry and Nicole's son Alex who is 7. It is quite the set up they have there. Jimmy had warned me it was very laid back and rustic... he wasn't kidding. They are living in a barn that they are in the process of converting to a house. Jimmy was kind enough to get the bathroom done before I got there so I wouldn't have to use the out house and sun shower. Such a good friend.

I have never been so off the map so to say. There was no TV, my phone had no reception... we were close to 45 from the nearest store. It was so peaceful, I kept saying "it's so quiet out here". The stars were incredible, I couldn't believe how many there were when you are that far from a city, I wish I had been able to take pictures of them.

I read an entire book (300+ pages) we hiked, toured the redwoods, talked and just hung out (HAHAHA "we could talk or not talk for hours" - who knows what movie that's from?). We ate food that they grew in the garden, all organic... and they even made an apple pie and brownies in a dutch oven! It was almost like camping! There isn't a stove in the house, just 2 burners hooked up to a propane tank. I have never prepared baked goods like that - jeez, I can barely cook with an oven!

Here we are with the trees... not the most flattering picture of me - but it's more important you see how big that tree trunk is!!

This is Shadow the Great Dane, he was SO sweet, he kept wanting to lean on me, but my allergies kept me from loving on him too much. There were also 8 Great Dane puppies that I accidentally deleted the picture of, duh.

As much as I enjoyed my time there - I was not cut out to be a full time hippie chick... When I first got there I think it was Josh that said, "oh, she is a girlie girl... let's see how long that lasts" :) I thought it was pretty funny and I think I adapted very well.

Here we are the morning I left - not too scary for 3+ days of no make-up, unwashed hair, the quickest showers ever and only using a mirror I to back the car up!

Shoe Box on Wheels

On Sunday I took Meagan, Jon and AleBaBa to the airport in San Jose. It was so hard to see them go... Thank heaven I get to see them in a couple weeks... okay, closer to 6 weeks but it's better than 6 months :)

I am posting this because I can't get over this stupid car... I didn't have a choice for a rental, but the fact that someone would actually buy this is beyond me. I strongly disliked it! (hate seems to strong of an emotion for a car) We had been driving a Toyota 4Runner, but that was way more car than I needed for just me, and with all the driving I had planned I needed something a little more economical. This is what I got - a shoebox on wheels, aka a Chevy HHR (stands for Hideous Horrible Ride)

I would not be at all surprised to find out I had been running people off the road all over the state because of all the blind spots. I had to look around the rear view mirror because the windshield was so small... it was a nightmare on my way to Blocksburg... I'll fill that in later.

Anyway, because I am such a positive person and look for the best in all situations - here are the highlights of the shoebox: a sun roof and a stereo that had an aux adaptor so I could plug in my nano.

Monterey Bay Aquarium

Friday we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium with Meagan's friend from high school Kelly, her husband and their little boy. My mother said we had been there before, but I don't remember it at all... no big surprise there.

Unfortunately the penguin exhibit was closed... I am sure a lot of you will remember how much I loved penguins when I was younger... still have a little thing for them :) There were so many amazing exhibits, however I think my favorite part was the jellyfish. These in particular were so cool. The color is what I found the most interesting... I don't know if it was the lighting that made them look orange - or if they were really orange, but the the contrast between the two colors is fascinating

AleBaBa

Thursday (9/27) I picked up Meagan, Jon and Alexandra at the San Jose airport and we headed to Monterey for the weekend. Meagan had a friend from high school getting married so I was going to get some quality one on one time with sweet Alex. I can't believe how much she has grown! She is so happy and such a pleasure to be around, I love her so much. I don't have good pictures from our time together... not sure why? But here are a couple I took while we were sitting on the bed in the hotel. I will get some others from Meagan.

Sausilito & Shuffleboard

I stayed with Jasper and Nikki in Sausilito Wednesday night when I first got to California and Jasper got the job of entertaining me since Nikki had to work. Lucky for him I'm easily amused. He asked if I wanted to play shuffleboard - "like old people on a cruise ship?" I asked? He said no, it was nothing like that and was sure I would have fun. He was right, of course :)

The pictures are small because they were taken with my phone... I really need to figure out how to make them bigger... any computer genius out there have any ideas?

The table (I guess that's what it's called? pictured on the right) has silica dust on it which is apparently ground up computer chips and there to help the pieces slide down the table has lines on it and the object is to get your puck within the lines and your opponent tries to knock you out of those lines... I wasn't really clear on the scoring system, but it was fun and I didn't care if I won or lost. I added a wikipedia link above for anyone who really wanted to learn about table top shuffleboard.

Golden Gate Bridge

I can't believe I am back in California after 9+ years... seems so weird. I flew into San Jose airport (which looks nothing like it did when we lived here) and picked up the rental car. From there I headed to Sausilito to stay with Jasper & Nikki. Sausilito is on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge and the day I was there it was beautiful! The bay can get so foggy at times you can't see the bridge...

I'm Bringin' Crazy Back

"Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage" -Publius Syrus

That was my Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch page for Monday 9/24... how appropriate. I got another e-mail from Crazy Cakes and I am hoping with all I have that it is the last one. It read:

Adrienne

I am not mad at you. You were in some type of unhappy marriage for a long time, and now for the first time in years, you have your freedom back, and want to enjoy it, and be a "dating machine." I dont fault you for that, or blame you, its just that I am looking for a partner, not a date friend. We are just in different places, thats all. In past relationships, I have taken a back seat to kids, mothers, sisters, horses, and Its been a tough road , always being down on the priority list. For me, I want to be #1 for a change, clearly your looking for something different. You said yourself that you have been kinda seeing somebody else, so you need to pursue that, and see where it goes. You are really pretty, and I dont blame you for wanting to party a little, please dont blame me for wanting some stability, okay ? Have a great time in sunny CA.


I have decided the best response is no response at all. Rick (my therapist) said to cease all contact so as not to entice the beast - my words, not his :)