Little Shopping Spree

I finally got a new cell phone! And it was FREE.99!! (I got that from Steve, he says that and it cracks me up) It is so snazzy and I can't wait to take pictures of people so when they call me their picture will show up as the caller ID! Too fun... it doesn't take much to impress me :)

And if that wasn't exciting enough, I bought the boots! I figured since I have been thinking about them for months and I start working at the Osprey in less than a month... and I just paid off my credit card... and they will last for years and years, and they will go with most of my wardrobe... yeah, as you can tell I am still trying to justify this purchase a bit. Evelyn at work told me I was "materialistic" and I think that is the first time I have ever been called that! Eh, there's a first time for everything :)

I need to pace myself! I think that's all the shopping/excitement I will be able to handle for a couple months...

Al-Anon Forgiveness

As is the case with my other Al-Anon posts, this could be of no interest to anyone but me.

Today in my Al-Anon meeting the topic was forgiveness, how do you do it, what are the effects, etc.

Someone in the meeting said that to truly forgive you have to have no expectations for the person you are forgiving. Meaning, by accepting this apology I expect him stay and not leave me, I expect that he will still love me, etc. Perhaps to truly understand that reasoning you need to be a co-dependant person. How do you know if you are co dependant? When you die and someone else's life flashes before your eyes. hahaha, that "joke" always cracks me up.

In Al-Anon we are encouraged to keep the focus on ourselves and not on the alcoholic. It's only taken me 18 months, but I am finally starting to get it. I have been a "stuffer" my whole life, I stuff my feelings until they overflow... like a volcano. I have always stuffed my feelings and forgiven in order to keep the peace, keep others happy, keep a stupid boyfriend, etc. and now that I am starting to feel my feelings I am deciding there are things I am not ready to forgive. And for once - it's okay. I am learning to think for myself and do a little mental check in - by forgiving this person am I compromising myself? Am I doing this to make them feel better at my own expense?

This is a process for me that could take a while, but it needs to be done. Dynamics in my relationships are bound to change as I start stand on my own, and begin to work through my co dependency... just as they should

Metaphors

On my google homepage I have it set up to give me a joke of the day from Comedy Central, and today the joke (if you can call it that?) was "What are Metaphors?" Here were the couple that cracked me up the most:

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart
reversing.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe
It's Not Butter."
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red crayon.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

They are pretty cheesy, but I think that's why I liked them :)

Self-Talk, my Inner Dialog

I am constantly bombarding myself with negative self-talk, talking down to myself and saying things to myself that I wouldn't say to anyone - ever - no matter how much I dislike that person, but here I am saying those things to myself... I haven't been able to stop it...


Then Meagan introduced me to the website My Thought Coach. I LOVE IT! It is all positive affirmations and meditations that you can download to your ipod - it was so easy even I could do it. I have created a morning meditation and an bedtime meditation, along with several others. It is so cheap $6.95 a month - unlimited use of the site and you get special downloads for being a "member".


Since I have started listening - every chance I get - I have started to notice a positive change in my self-talk... I am not giving myself glowing reviews - YET, but I have only been listening since Friday and I think it's just going to get better.


I know I sound like an Infomertial and I don't even care! I love it and I want other people to know about it too :)

End of the Season

Saturday was my last day skiing for the season. Sugarloaf will be open 1 more weekend, but I am over it! It was SO warm! There were people skiing in shorts and t-shirts... I wasn't one of them so I was roasting! So, I skied my 3 runs and called it a day :) Look how much snow there still is - and it was 70 degrees!

It was great to sit outside with our friends on "the beach" and enjoy the beautiful afternoon... This season was really good - not too much ice (people from Utah are saying what? ice?) and never so bitter cold you couldn't stand to be outside. But after 5 months and a couple weeks, I am ready for spring/summer.

Earth Day

"So that they will respect the land, tell your children that the earth is rich with the lives of our kin. Teach your children what we have taught our children, that the earth is our mother. Whatever befalls the earth, befalls the sons of the earth. If men spit upon the ground, they spit upon themselves." - Native American wisdom

I really liked this saying and wanted to pass it on. My mother gave me this desk calendar for Christmas called "Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch" All this time I thought my Inner Bitch and I were the best of friends! Apparently that isn't the case. The calendar is all about standing up for yourself, believing in yourself with some sassy quotes thrown in for good measure. Every now and again there will be some more deep and meaningful quotes/days.

A Tad Premature?

I couldn't help myself! I had been SO cold for a week that when I heard today was going to be in the high 50's - I got a little crazy and decided to wear the new flops that Meagan gave me ---->

aren't they the cutest!? I am even wearing capri pants! See, that's the funny thing about Mainers - at the first sign of spring (any day over 40 degrees) you will start seeing people without coats... some short sleeve shirts here and there, then once it gets to be in the 50's it's like a summer day! sandals, shorts, capris, jeez a woman in my office was wearing a sleeveless shirt with her capris! Considering we spend 6+ months out of the year at 30 degrees or less, anything over 50 is a heat wave!

Let's just hope it stays this way...

YIPPEE!!

WE HAVE POWER! Luckily it warmed up a bit last night - and I didn't go home until it was time to go to bed so I didn't mind quite as much.

I was counting my many blessings last night - my home wasn't washed away in flood waters, or get flooded, nor did a tree fall on it, I don't have children (besides my big boys Steve & Chris) I needed to worry about without power for 4 days when it was so cold. I knew my power would come back on unlike people who live in places where they don't have or can't afford electricity... I actually have a home! I have loving a loving family and friends who would take us in if need be.

I am truly blessed.

Getting to know (a little about) me

I got this from my sister Corinne's blog


For hours and hours I could...
read a book
sit on the beach
stamp

I feel best about myself...
when I work-out
when I am a good friend
when I accomplish a goal

I absolutely cannot stand...
rude "customer service professionals" (I use the term loosely)
raw onions
warm beer

I am afraid of...
drowning
failing

I love to splurge by...
going out to dinner
shopping

I save by...
rarely paying full price for anything (super bargain shopper!)
living in an old, tiny house
driving an older car

I am trying to work on...
asking for help
not being taken advantage of
being true to myself

In high school...
I was in a competitive show choir
I worked at the Mandarin
I was able to GRADUATE!! (with a lot of summer school, and help in math from Sue and my sister Erin)

In college...
hmmm... I only went for 2 semesters
I busted my butt to pass Math 101 - and didn't!
LOVED my history class

I feel I'm a good mom when...
When my two big boys (Steve 38 & Chris 39) are well fed and happy

I regret...
I don't have regrets, I have experiences in my life I have learned from... choices I have made - some good, some not so good...

I could never have too many...
friends
laughs
good times

OVER IT!

At first it was a bit of an adventure... now it is just a big pain in the butt! For two nights I have cooked by flashlight and ate dinner in the "ice box" a.k.a my house, boiled water to wash dishes in and gone to bed at 7:00 out of sheer boredom (and I was freakin' freezing!)... I am ready for a warm bed, and a warm meal - not cooked by me! I told Steve we would be eating out tonight, I would decide where :) I won't even get started on missing my shows! Steve was headed to the YMCA last night to take a shower and he asked if I wanted to go. "Why would I want to go?" He said "because there is heat and light". I was ready to go before he was.

I would have NEVER made it as a pioneer... Anna from the gym who has two little kids said "at first it was fun to play Little House on the Prairie, now I want my lights on". Chris said (as he was wrapped in a blanket with a ski coat and winter hat watching his breath plumes, while standing in the kitchen and warming his hands on the stove) "the novelty has worn off"...

Every prayer I say includes how grateful I am for my house, and all the luxuries I have. I know it is pretty pathetic to bitch about not having power for a couple days when there are much bigger problems all over. This is trivial in the big scheme of things... I think I needed a reminder of how lucky I really am. And here it is.