Monterey Bay Aquarium

Friday we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium with Meagan's friend from high school Kelly, her husband and their little boy. My mother said we had been there before, but I don't remember it at all... no big surprise there.

Unfortunately the penguin exhibit was closed... I am sure a lot of you will remember how much I loved penguins when I was younger... still have a little thing for them :) There were so many amazing exhibits, however I think my favorite part was the jellyfish. These in particular were so cool. The color is what I found the most interesting... I don't know if it was the lighting that made them look orange - or if they were really orange, but the the contrast between the two colors is fascinating

AleBaBa

Thursday (9/27) I picked up Meagan, Jon and Alexandra at the San Jose airport and we headed to Monterey for the weekend. Meagan had a friend from high school getting married so I was going to get some quality one on one time with sweet Alex. I can't believe how much she has grown! She is so happy and such a pleasure to be around, I love her so much. I don't have good pictures from our time together... not sure why? But here are a couple I took while we were sitting on the bed in the hotel. I will get some others from Meagan.

Sausilito & Shuffleboard

I stayed with Jasper and Nikki in Sausilito Wednesday night when I first got to California and Jasper got the job of entertaining me since Nikki had to work. Lucky for him I'm easily amused. He asked if I wanted to play shuffleboard - "like old people on a cruise ship?" I asked? He said no, it was nothing like that and was sure I would have fun. He was right, of course :)

The pictures are small because they were taken with my phone... I really need to figure out how to make them bigger... any computer genius out there have any ideas?

The table (I guess that's what it's called? pictured on the right) has silica dust on it which is apparently ground up computer chips and there to help the pieces slide down the table has lines on it and the object is to get your puck within the lines and your opponent tries to knock you out of those lines... I wasn't really clear on the scoring system, but it was fun and I didn't care if I won or lost. I added a wikipedia link above for anyone who really wanted to learn about table top shuffleboard.

Golden Gate Bridge

I can't believe I am back in California after 9+ years... seems so weird. I flew into San Jose airport (which looks nothing like it did when we lived here) and picked up the rental car. From there I headed to Sausilito to stay with Jasper & Nikki. Sausilito is on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge and the day I was there it was beautiful! The bay can get so foggy at times you can't see the bridge...

I'm Bringin' Crazy Back

"Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage" -Publius Syrus

That was my Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch page for Monday 9/24... how appropriate. I got another e-mail from Crazy Cakes and I am hoping with all I have that it is the last one. It read:

Adrienne

I am not mad at you. You were in some type of unhappy marriage for a long time, and now for the first time in years, you have your freedom back, and want to enjoy it, and be a "dating machine." I dont fault you for that, or blame you, its just that I am looking for a partner, not a date friend. We are just in different places, thats all. In past relationships, I have taken a back seat to kids, mothers, sisters, horses, and Its been a tough road , always being down on the priority list. For me, I want to be #1 for a change, clearly your looking for something different. You said yourself that you have been kinda seeing somebody else, so you need to pursue that, and see where it goes. You are really pretty, and I dont blame you for wanting to party a little, please dont blame me for wanting some stability, okay ? Have a great time in sunny CA.


I have decided the best response is no response at all. Rick (my therapist) said to cease all contact so as not to entice the beast - my words, not his :)

Big Ol' Can of Crazy

One of my favorite names to call people... I can't take credit for it - Carla said it on Scrubs. It still cracks me up.

What prompted this post is the guy (I'll was going to call him the Lobsterman - now he's just Crazy Cakes) I was supposed to have a date with on Saturday day - a lunch/movie thing... he didn't want the commitment of a Saturday night date, too much pressure he said (that's MY line! I don't schedule a Saturday night as a first date, I want to make sure it's going to be worth my while before I give up guaranteed fun plans with my friends). Anyway, Crazy Cakes said he would call me early Saturday morning - sometime after 7:30 to make a plan. It gets to be 11:30 and I still haven't heard from him... I decide to give him until noon which I think is pretty generous. He calls at 11:55. The conversation was annoying... and it goes around in circles about time/where we are going etc. After we make a plan to meet at 2:30 (I have to pick him up - at his parent's house! because his car is in the shop) for a 4:10 movie. I rethink the situation, how irked I am that called late, how pompous he is and how he just expected me to sit around and wait for him... Then I think of my "hot & heavy" girlfriend Jordana who I know I am going to have a good time with that night and decide that a date with Crazy Cakes isn't going to work for me. I call him back and say can we do lunch instead? He says "never mind, we'll do it tomorrow" (Sunday) I said, "No, I have to work". He says "Monday?" "Again, no, I have to work, and get ready for my trip"... I get a moment of silence followed up with "And I guess when you get back you will need a day to recover" and I said "I will have been gone for over 10 days, I will need than a day, maybe that following weekend?" Still trying to be nice... not sure why - I need to get rid of Toxic Niceness... He says, "whatever, have a good night" "oh, I will" I respond. There is a lot more detail in there that is just too much to type.

So a 1/2 hour after I hang up with him - I get this e-mail.

You should know me well enough by now to realize that I wont be playing second fiddle to anyone, especially Jordana. Its all about choices, and you just made one. I got punked out for a chick on a Saturday night.........are you serious ???? I am all for girls night out once in a while, but its every night for you guys. If I was Jordanas boyfriend, I would tell her to stay home and act like a girlfriend, but apparently she needs the attention so much that she would rather get hoochied up, go out, and flash the "double ds" to a bunch of strange men instead of enjoying a nice dinner, a movie, and then rocking out in bed. WHAT EVA, been there done that 20 years ago. That says volumes about the relationship dosent it ! You told me last night that you are a dating machine ??? Well, I dont share so good, and I DONT get worked into a spot on agendas, agendas get worked into a spot on me, so whats up ? Typical deal;, a girl has kids way to early, leaves them with the x, and parties because she should never had them to begin with because they interferes with the social life. Let me know when you get the partying out of your system !

The important thing to keep in mind is that he has never met my girlfriend Jordana. Here is what he knows about her: One of my best friends, divorced with 2 kids that are with their father from Thursday - Sunday, engaged to a deployed navy guy, and wicked fun to be with.

SO glad he let the crazy out early!! I didn't even have to go on a first date! I responded with: Okay. I was not about to waste my time, effort and energy defending my friend to him.

Ah, the joys of dating. Good thing I have my main squeeze Jordana to go out with to make up for all the crazy :)

It just came to me...

In the middle of the night. I was going to a bridal shower for a dear friend of mine this weekend and I wanted my gift to be creative - I have an image to uphold after all! I don't have my stamp stuff (it is still at the house) so I came up with this:

unfortunately I don't think you can really see it... It is a vase filled with glass bead/rock things and in the beads are a couple spoons, a veggie peeler, a pastry brush and something else that I can't remember... anyway I did the first layer in yellow, then wrapped white around that to create the "flower" part, then covered the bottoms in green floral tape so it looked like a vase full of flowers! I was thrilled with myself.

I have since come to the conclusion that I need more exciting things to dream about than how to gift wrap...

8 Years

My phone rang this morning at 5:30 - it was Steve calling to wish me Happy Anniversary - since we are technically still married. I can't believe it has been 8 years. I had a guy say to me the other day he thought if a couple made it through the "7 year itch" they were all set... obviously that is not the case...

Steve and I have been getting along so well. We had breakfast together on Saturday... we covered a lot of heavy stuff - I am able to think and talk about things more clearly now that we have time and distance between us. He is learning so much about himself and growing so much as a person it's impressive to watch. That doesn't change things between us - other than allow me to be more forgiving of him. He's trying and I wish him the best going forward.

1st Time...

I taught 3 tracks (songs) this morning for the first time!! I didn't do so great on the first warm-up... I choked a little, but by tracks 2 and 3 I was on a roll! Obviously I have a lot more practicing to do. I bought a portable DVD player so I can train/practice while I am in California for 10 days... I am looking forward to the time to myself and the chance to get this down so I can tape it and get 100% certified.

Lately I have felt so frazzled... between the Osprey, moving, training/practicing, trying to catch up at work and an attempt at a social life I am about to lose it! I gave up 2 shifts this week because I just need some time off - from myself! I am usually a very active/busy person but I think I have overdone it the last couple of weeks... A week from tomorrow I am on vacation and I am counting down the days.

Emotional

A couple months ago there was a man I was interested in... thought he was interested in me. I'll call him Mr. Moustache because of his foo style stache. He would come to the Osprey pretty regularly, he was very confident - maybe even a little cocky. He was retired from BIW... flew small planes, skied, a condo at Sugarloaf, a boat, on and on... He was sucessful and seemed like he had life all figured out. I thought we had a little spark... one night at the Kennebec Tavern (after a couple weeks of flirting) I finally said to him "I don't know what I need to do to get you to ask me out" he asked for my number and said he would call me. He walked me to my car, gave me a sweet kiss and we went on our merry ways. Weeks passed and he never called. I would see him out and he was always friendly - although no longer flirty. I chalked it up to experience and living through the "rejection" with no damage to my ego (I am getting better all the time).

Last night when I was at the Osprey, Nancy called to tell me that Mr. Moustache was missing

At first I was thinking this isn't about me, but I have been surprised at my reaction to it all... when I talk about it I get all teary... it's not like we were close... meerly starter friends or acquintences. I am torn by my feelings - pissed that he would do it. Sad that he abandoned people who care about him... empathy for the pain/heartache/loneliness/shame, etc. that he must have been feeling. And when I get right down to it, the reason this is hitting me so hard is that I am reminded of a very dark, sad time in my life where my own attempt was unsuccessful. I remember my mother asking me in the hospital how I could do this to her and responding with - "this isn't about you!" I am also realizing that this is the first person I have known personally to take their own life...

My thoughts and prayers are with you Kevin...

Front & Center

Today I did the step routine in front of the class... I didn't cue it - but I faced the class with another instructor. It wasn't too hard because Anna was cuing - all I had to do was listen and remember what foot we were really on. When you are teaching the class almost everything starts out on the left foot, but you are saying right foot because that is what the class is stepping on. I was very red faced throughout the routine, but I think it was a combo of being in front for the first time... a hot room without fans blowing on me (there aren't any aimed at the instructors - only on the participants!?) and I am just a red face. I don't know how else to explain it... oh, don't want to forget that I am a big sweater too... no, not like what you wear, but I sweat so much when I work out... my acupuncturist said it was a good thing... maybe in that setting but while working out - not so much. I think I am going to have to do an Olivia Newton John and get sweat bands for my head and wrists. Good look - right?

Hot & Heavy

It's not as exciting as it sounds, but the story cracks me up.

I have a really good friend named Jordana (people think we are sisters). She and I spend a ton of time together... her fiance is deployed and her ex-husband (she's mad at him right now, so he's not a wasband) has the kids from Thursday - Sunday that opens up her whole weekend. We have our Thursday tradition of martinis at MJ's and then the bar tour of Bath and we usually see each other at least one other time over the weekend. Last week we went to martini night, went out again on Friday and had a "date" on Saturday - dinner and a movie. When my friend Stacy asked me what I was doing Saturday night I said "I have a hot date" she said "with who? The Fisherman?" I said "no, with Jordana" and Stacy replied, "well, you and Jordana have been pretty hot and heavy lately, huh?" Perhaps you had to be there...

Thursday night I invited The Fisherman to join Jordana and I for the last leg of our evening... he had a long drive because he had to deliver a car about 70 miles away (he co-owns a dealership) but he said he missed me and wanted to see me :) nice guy, huh? I was glad she got to meet him... we'll see where it goes. It's still very early...

No more white pants or shoes

That's what I always think of when it's Labor Day... something my father instilled in me at a young age... Mr. GQ himself.

It was a beautiful weekend in Maine. The weather was dreamy! Not hot and humid in fact a little fall like, I loved it. I worked Friday night - slowest night of the year so far... I got out at 8:30 which is pretty much unheard of on a Friday so I headed to Windsor for a bon fire with a friend I will call The Fisherman.

Saturday I went on a motorcycle ride/lunch with a friend I will call Mr. R1 because that's what he rides for a bike... I can't believe how much I have missed being on a motorcycle. It was the longest lunch date ever. I met him at 1:00 and I didn't get home until 8:30! I was worried that he and I were going to have to have a "talk" because it seemed he was WAY more into me than I was into him, but he spared me :) and we are going to keep it at friends.

Sunday I met Steve for breakfast and we discussed house stuff. We actually had fun! I love how much better we have been getting along. He has agreed to buy me out of the house by transfering money from his 401k to my 403b (non-profit equivalent). I won't have money to put down on anything now, but in order to be done with it, it will have to be done this way. I'm okay with it. I headed to Portland to drop off Little Ray, my kitty. He has a new home with Candace... may only be temporary but she will make sure he is well taken care of. I got to have lunch with Erica and Josiah. I have missed her so much. I can't believe how big her little guy is! Sunday night I worked. Thankfully it was busier than it was on Friday and I actually made some money.

Monday went to a bbq at Popham Beach with a bunch of friends I haven't seen in a long time. Sharon & Jason are up from VA, I saw Nancy Senecal who I rarely see anymore... and several others, it was fun. Monday night I had a date with The Fisherman we went to dinner at the Osprey (like I can't get enough of the joint) and I introduced him to some friends I work with and that come in often... BIG step.

Now it's back to the grind... the grind that doesn't allow for white pants and shoes.