Metaphors

On my google homepage I have it set up to give me a joke of the day from Comedy Central, and today the joke (if you can call it that?) was "What are Metaphors?" Here were the couple that cracked me up the most:

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart
reversing.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe
It's Not Butter."
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red crayon.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

They are pretty cheesy, but I think that's why I liked them :)